Her Journey Blogs

“Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~Harvey Fierstein

As I mentioned earlier, I dealt with some things this week.  There has been a cycle of dysfunction that I have dealt with for years and years. And many, many times I have felt like I was driving down an emotional mine field – praying while dodging the mines -but knowing sooner or later that I would not be successful.   Living this way is far from healthy.  We all make jokes about dysfunction.  But sadly, it is destructive and can be so incredibly harmful.

My story has a darker side.  An added facet to the dysfunction that I have dealt with for years is the need of these perpetrators to villianize.  They villianize co-workers, relatives, “friends” and neighbors.  The list goes on and on.   They want others to be hated and aren’t satisfied until they succeed in turning good people into hated ones.  They destroy reputations whenever they want and justify the pain they cause others.  It is a sport to them and the pleasure they get from it is unsettling.

It is that unsettling feeling that has been the catalyst to get me away from the insanity.  Dysfunction starts slowing and gradually weaves its way through your life and into your being.  This continuing process makes the dysfunction seem almost normal. It becomes the reality. And I know I stayed way too long, was hurt way too much and was so hated just because of their desire to destroy, to play their game.  And it is this hate factor, this desire to make villains out of the good ones, that takes this past dysfunction and into something so dark and so wrong.  I am not just walking away.  I am running…and praying… as I dodge those mine fields for the last time.

Deb

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Author Unknown

When I first read this quote, my first thought was “OUCH”!  This makes me wonder why I immediately assumed that I would not have made the turn. I really do not like thinking that I would expect the worse or to think that I wasn’t up for a snag in my plans.  I am usually a pretty positive person.  But the last couple of days, I have allowed some negative energy to cloud (or muddy) my thoughts.

So this quote is going on my mirror so that every morning it is the first thing I see. (Actually, I should put it on my coffeemaker!)   I need to start every day with a reminder to bring my A game no matter what the universe throws my way.

Deb

“The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.” — Henry Ward Beecher

I love this quote!  It makes me think about the times I have wanted to quit at something that was / is really important.  A few times really stand out.  A few times that seemed life or death.  A few times that still scare the hell out of me when I think about life would be like if the results were different.

I think many of us have a strong will. I think a strong will is a trait we are born with or acquire at a very young age and is very much a part of our personality.  But what about a “strong won’t”?  I do not believe we are born with a “strong won’t”.  A “strong won’t” is based on our own personal value system and is our own measurement of morality.   A “strong won’t” can test your value system and can be the difference between doing and doing what is right.

Having a strong will makes us fighters, but it is the “strong won’t” that keeps us fighting.  Simply, a “strong won’t” is a conscience choice.

Deb

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice.  And to make an end is to make a beginning. – T.S. Eliot

I love organized.  I love simple.  Therefore, I love quotes.  For me, quotes are a gift from those who have had a deep (usually) thought and figured out how to write it simply while maintaining a meaning which others can relate to.

And speaking of speaking of organized and simple…Last week, I logged on to here after months and months of being away.  I did some maintenance work to the blog, made some administrative changes to the format and spent some time reflecting on how this site started.

Years ago, there was a daytime reality TV show called, Starting Over.   According to Wikipedia, “Starting Over is an American reality TV show that follows the lives of women who are experiencing difficulty in their lives and want to make changes, with the help of life coaches. It was the first reality TV show to be nominated for a Award. Six women at a time work to overcome obstacles and meet personal goals. When it is determined that a woman has met all her goals, she “graduates” from the house and is replaced by a new roommate. On the other hand, if it’s determined that she’s not met her goals, she could be put on probation, or even asked to leave.”

The show made me realize that every woman has a story.  And herjourney.com was born out of the desire to share those stories, that journey.  Several years after inception, Her Journey has moved away from a forum based site and has evolved into a blogging site.  And as this site returns to the basics, the reason it was created – I am looking forward to the journey…

Deb