Another birthday has come and gone. This one wasn’t a huge milestone – just kind of a middle of the road birthday. But big or small, I survived it! I am not implying that I partake in daredevil activities on my birthday, but I do engage in another activity that has caused a lot of anxiety in the past. And that is examining my life, reflecting on where I am, where I have been and where I am trying to go. For me, my birthdays are kind of like New Years but without the champagne (prefer Bushmills), noise makers and fanfare. This year, the tradition of reflecting did include a few regrets, but for the first time in years, the regrets were few and the positive far out measured any negative.
Over the past few years, I have watched the women of Hollywood proclaim that 50 is the new 40, 40 is the new 30 and etc, etc. I am not sure what my assumed age is, but I do know my true age. And as much as I would like to turn back the calendar on physical age about 10 years, I would not want to turn back the calendar on how much I have changed with knowing emotionally and spiritually who I am.
As women, we don’t get to say this much (actually, I don’t think I have ever admitted it ever) but for the first time, I am very comfortable with who I am. Over the years, I have paid my dues, fought some fights, stood up for what I believe in, laughed at what is funny and cried at what moves me. And I have very recently realized that I have reached that point in my life where I can say, hey – I am ok and I like “me”!
Yep, I am still a work in progress, but in this course called life I am making the grade – my own grade. I am doing what I believe in, what I feel is right and not apologizing or making excuses. And when I look in the mirror, I see someone a bit older then last year, a lot older then last decade – but most importantly, the person looking back at me is someone I truly like and respect.
Deb
